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2003-10-19 - 12:43 p.m. i've had a bit of a revelation. to tell you the truth, i've been meaning to quit this diary for awhile now. but some things bugged me. for one, i wanted to end it well, and i didn't really know how. i just wanted to live up to my other ending. another thing was regret. i regretted picking it up again in the first place, because my new entries weren't as good as my old ones. but i was thinking about it, and listening to music, and something funny happened. i was listening to this one song, and i got up to leave my room, and the doorknob broke off in my hands. this actually happens pretty often, and sometimes i get frustrated. but there i stood, holding the glass doorknob, and i just started laughing. i mean, it's all so funny. we're all trapped sometimes, and it's funny. it truly is. i can't really explain. so i came downstairs and i said to myself, "i'm going to go end that damned diary." but i didn't really say damned, because i wasn't upset at all. the regret had left me, and i felt like i was glad that i had picked it up again. because, the old one made my life seem so perfect. and nobody's life is perfect. nobody is perfect. people need to understand the bad stuff, too. and you know, i was going to entitle this, "the end." but then i realized, it's not the end at all. when i'm done writing this, i'll get up and go live life like i always have. like i always will. and so will you. when you're done reading this, no matter who you are, you'll get up and go live. you'll eat, or sleep, or love, or hate. you'll learn, or forget, or you'll learn to forget. or to forgive. every day you'll live, no matter what, until you die. and when you die, other people will still live. so it's never really the end. it's always the beginning. this is the song i was listening to when the handle broke off: All alone we go all day after day All alone we suffer, oh to steal your heart away It's the same old thing, in the same old way All alone we suffer, oh to steal your heart away And the light was creeping down down down While we were sleeping Suddenly we hit the ground So come on, let's go Let's run away If that's all there is Oh to steal your heart away Alone we suffer. ---- Good bye, I love you.
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